This is just a casual look at E3 hence the title so if you are looking for an in depth cover of E3 then I suggest looking elsewhere for on this site but if you want to read some bell end’s thoughts on E3 then welcome friend sit down and enjoy also these are my thoughts on E3 so if there is something that I said was bad or good then and you think the opposite then that is purely your opinion and it is just as valid . The way I see E3 is its kind of like a dick measuring contest you know how they all show us their packages and we either cheer, boo or cringe not to say that I hate E3 but to me it just looks like who has the biggest dicks and smallest of pricks. Though this year it seems everyone has gotten some reduction surgery as it has the big companies come out with stuff that was already announced or games we already knew about due to leaks or some bloke named Steve who works for said big company. But first lets start off with.
well if you like sports games and battlefield 1 and lets face it battlefield: Star wars edition and the “creator cave” where they had paid you-tubers and streamers like ladies of them night and suck EA’s dick and while their were some cool looking games like A way out looks very interesting but other than that nothing really caught my eye, Anthem looked nice with all thirty seconds of it but that is for later.
started off with the new console the Xbox one x well where is II-IX? I’m sure you Roman numeral nerds got that. Seriously though is that the best name they could come up with? I remember when the Xbox one was being made and everyone I knew was saying it was going to be call the 720 or some crap. but basically Microsoft said “Hey here is the new console and how powerful it is with these TERRAFLOPS AND 4K BITCHES”. this may sound really dumb and I accept it as such but I am more about the games then the consoles yes the Xbox one x’s tech sounds impressive for sure but what is a console without good games? at least that is how I see it. Though some of the announcements has me pretty hyped like the new Metro game Metro Exodus and a new Ori game “Well fuck me sideways till Sunday a new Ori game” is what I thought a long with little girlish screams of joy I must admit I wasn’t ready for the feelings I would feel when I saw the trailer and when I saw Ori hug the little owl it was great like “Oh boy can’t wait for the emotional kick in the balls that this game is going to give me” was the second thought that I had. Though I could be a little bias since Ori and the blind forest is in fact my favorite game of all time closely followed by Metro 2033 and last light. On that smooth as butter transition my mind was blown by how good Metro Exodus looked it just looked like more Metro and I am fine with that who knew a FPS would have a great story, creepy as dicks atmosphere and hopefully more strippers I’ll let you decide on if I’m joking about the last one or not, when they showed Anthem it was like the middle finger to Destiny 2 and I gotta respect that because I’m not a fan of Destiny in general as I happily gave it the middle finger when the first game was in beta. Some of the indie games looked fantastic and honestly looked better than some of the triple A titles.
Assassin’s creed, The crew 2 and Far cry 5 hillbilly edition not much to say really its just Ubisoft just didn’t interest me nothing was bad but nothing stood out either. Also Mario and Rabbids are in the same game so that’s a thing.
looks as about as close as I could get into LARPing which interests me in a constantly looking like a nob swing my sword around and having deadly arguments with dragons and I wet myself kind of way though I wonder how sick I would get when I get flung into space by a giant?.Also paid mods are back which in my opinion I think that if mod makers put a load of work and effort into making a mod then yes I think they should get paid its as simple as that.
Fallout 4 VR
I never got into Fallout 4 so perhaps I’ll just watch someone on YouTube play it once and then not give a bollocks about it.
the only good Nazi is a dead one I have never played any of the Wolfenstein games but this just looks like good ole Nazi killing fun. Nazis, robots, guns, Americans, violence oh my! overall I was impressed by Bethesda with some minor things I didn’t like.
Took a huge step back at least in they way of presentation as in we didn’t seen Hideo Kojima walk down on the stage like the god he is nor did we hear a peep about Death stranding also as a side note Undertale is coming to PS4 so that would be interesting to see how Japan reacts to it. Not to say I didn’t like the show in fact I liked it a lot it was just plain and simple they just showed off their games.
Shadow of colossus remastered
I never played this game so when this version comes out it would be the perfect time to play it and see what all the fuss is about with all those big fuck off monsters and everyone’s favorite horse and a dickhead demon thing that tells you to kill the big fuck off monsters.
Dad of war
Again never played any of the god of war games but this looks awesome though there seems to be a running theme with these games that sony has announced I call it “The last of us syndrome” where nearly every game is a third person action story game not that its a bad thing I like great stories in video games but if they keep up with this trend its is going to get really tired really quick.
People still like zombies right?……no
Or Weeb souls looks like how an anime souls game should be over the top anime bullshit with the fuck you essence of Dark souls and I’m ready for some hardcore action and panty shots BRING.IT.ON.
And honestly those are my thoughts on E3 a bit lackluster in some places, super fucking cringe in others but overall I didn’t hate it somethings had excited and then there was Minecraft in 4k who still plays that on console?
Thank you reading this if you read all the way though and be sure to share you thoughts in a nice and kind manner in the comments I also encourage constructive feedback.
I'm just a guy who loves games, writing and coming up with bad jokes.
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